Thursday, July 11, 2013

Help Me Quit Smoking, I bought a pack tonight..

48 hours ago I smoked my last cigarette.. The hardest part of walking away from smoking after many years is that my wife still continues to smoke. This is her choice and I have decided my health and well being is first. If she wants to quit, it will be her decision to make, not mine. On the way home, I took cans back and bought a pack of cigarettes.. I really did.. The hardest part of doing so is the fact that these cigarettes belong to my wife. So having them so close by and still refusing to have one is pretty hard.

Even 48 hours later, I feel like I need a cigarette. Like I am missing something, as if the tobacco gave me something the natural air could not. After so many years I was used to smoking a cigarette after different things. Waking up in the morning or from naps, before and after meals.. At work that small cigarette break felt nice, I wondered why I would even stand out there now, so I didn't.. More time on the clock I guess.

I'm gonna keep writing this blog about my battle to quit smoking because after so many years, I'm not convinced I can do it but I am seeking your support. I think with others behind me, I can overcome this. All these other stresses seem to be hitting me right now too. One of three teeth that need to come out have recently begun hurting severely. Seems I will be going to the free clinic on Friday to get it removed.

Plus on top of that, I found out today my work took a private letter I addressed to them (Corporate) and they gave the letter BACK to the (Local)  place I work. Now I'm very confused as to what I should do. I can't believe they forwarded my private letter to them after what I wrote in it! Talk about wanting a cigarette, this will put any man to the wall! I want a cigarette so bad!! Even 48 hours later I know the chemical draw should be gone. Damn I need help, only who do I trust? I can ONLY trust myself it seems!

2 comments:

  1. You can do this! Hang in there. Every time you want a cigarette look at photos of smokers lung, visit the VA hospital lung cancer patient, think of all the bad chemicals in a cigarette, think that every person who smokes will feel like they are drowning when they pass..not might, will as I've been told by many medical professionals. Your wife will quit when she is ready. Ask her..isn't it crazy to take cans back to buy cigarettes? Shoot..you could have purchased soo many other things with that money. I quit 4 1/2 years ago. The cravings are still there, especially when there is stress, but Orbit peppermint gum worked and still works when I get stressed out. I tried Chantix..wasn't for me, but their support system is amazing!! Maybe worth a try? Good Luck in your venture..you can do this!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Have you ever thought about Vaping? That's what I do. You get the nicotine and not all the other ugly stuff in cigs.

    ReplyDelete