Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Crazy Skies Like in the Movies!

Nothing could prepare me as I walked outside to see what the fuss was all about, moments before I saw a bunch of employees go outside to see the clouds over the store. I soon discovered what they were so concerned about, these incredible clouds were forming in the sky over us. Clouds I have never seen before, something you might see in the movies. Check out this video and post in the comments if you have ever seen anything like this before. What would you think if you did?

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Help Me Quit Smoking, I bought a pack tonight..

48 hours ago I smoked my last cigarette.. The hardest part of walking away from smoking after many years is that my wife still continues to smoke. This is her choice and I have decided my health and well being is first. If she wants to quit, it will be her decision to make, not mine. On the way home, I took cans back and bought a pack of cigarettes.. I really did.. The hardest part of doing so is the fact that these cigarettes belong to my wife. So having them so close by and still refusing to have one is pretty hard.

Even 48 hours later, I feel like I need a cigarette. Like I am missing something, as if the tobacco gave me something the natural air could not. After so many years I was used to smoking a cigarette after different things. Waking up in the morning or from naps, before and after meals.. At work that small cigarette break felt nice, I wondered why I would even stand out there now, so I didn't.. More time on the clock I guess.

I'm gonna keep writing this blog about my battle to quit smoking because after so many years, I'm not convinced I can do it but I am seeking your support. I think with others behind me, I can overcome this. All these other stresses seem to be hitting me right now too. One of three teeth that need to come out have recently begun hurting severely. Seems I will be going to the free clinic on Friday to get it removed.

Plus on top of that, I found out today my work took a private letter I addressed to them (Corporate) and they gave the letter BACK to the (Local)  place I work. Now I'm very confused as to what I should do. I can't believe they forwarded my private letter to them after what I wrote in it! Talk about wanting a cigarette, this will put any man to the wall! I want a cigarette so bad!! Even 48 hours later I know the chemical draw should be gone. Damn I need help, only who do I trust? I can ONLY trust myself it seems!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

36 Hours Without A Cigarette, After 25+ Years..

I have smoked over 1/2 of my life. When I was 16 years old I started smoking because the state of Wisconsin allowed me to. I mean that too, because THEY allowed me to.. While I was in a adolescent lock-up I was accused of smoking, when I was not. I still to this day insist I never smoked once prior to their accusations. I was 13 years old and in serious trouble for the 1st time in my life. In WI at 13 you could not legally smoke cigarettes in the 1980's but in the legal system, they had different rules..

I could never understand looking back to my life then, why the state allowed kids to smoke cigarettes. If I recall correctly, they were allowing kids underage to smoke. As if the rules were different back then.. I wish I knew then how hard it would be now to quit. The urge is there but I've made up my mind to quit again..

This will be the 2nd time I've quit, the first was about 15 years ago. I started back up after dating then marrying someone who smoked. I didn't have the will power to overcome the smell and urge to take a puff. I can only hope I have what it takes now. She said she won't smoke in the house and I really hope she can continue to do that. I think the power of the mind has much to do with how you live. I think I can just stop smoking and be done with it. When I stopped before, I didn't smoke for over a year. At 40 years old, I just want to be sure I see my kids grow up.

While there seems to be so many people to blame, in the end it comes down to me. I am the person in control of my own life and the only one that can be blamed for picking up that first cigarette. I am also the only person who can put down that last cigarette and never touch another. The support of others is a big boost, but ultimately it comes down to myself...

I can do it, I know I can..

If you want to offer support, come see my facebook to do so.. See My Fan Page